We are now homeschooling...

Emma and the Friday night class

Will's Saturday class

One of the great things that has happened to our family in India has been the opportunity to get involved in the local community.   Of course you can always donate money to any charity but giving some time every week provides a connection to real people.   Over the last year Emma has been involved in an after school program that focuses on improving the English skills for children in the villages around our housing complex.   India has multiple options for public and private schools, but those that are run by the government do not teach English.   If the children can learn to read and write in English they will have better opportunities for employment.    Just outside our neighborhood is the local school for Ramagondanahalli, it's a single story yellow building with a few rooms and a dusty play yard.  There are no toilets.   Kids from ages of first through eighth grade attend but in varying regularity and it's not uncommon for those around 11 or 12 to drop out to work at construction  sites to help support the family.  

In September the family that had been hosting the after school program moved to Australia and a new home was needed.   Emma asked if we could host the school which runs from 5-6pm, Monday through Friday and then 2-3 pm on Saturday for up to 30 kids...Doug and I immediately agreed.   The commitment from my end is light - provide a clean garage, put out water and cups and the teaching staff will do the rest.  We now have mounted whiteboards on our garage walls, a few on easels and often times the class expands to our front porch so the kids can be grouped in different reading groups.    Ms. Poornima is the program coordinator and she organizes the curriculum, complete with workbooks and lesson sheets.   There is now a waiting list of high school students to volunteer one night a week!   Emma still has Friday nights with 2 of her pals and William takes Saturday after he gets back from school (yes our kids have Saturday school here!).   On the days I can get home on time from work, I pull up in the drive to see a ton of smiling faces and am greeted by a flurry of "Hi Ma'am" and plenty of thank yous.    The kids usually show up around 4 or 430 to play with the toys we have in our garage, ask to use the restroom and visit with our dogs.   While we are not really a quiet family - 30 kids in your garage and a rotating line coming into the house to check things out is a whole new level of chaos for me!  

This week is Halloween and while it's not really a holiday / celebration in India, we will be giving the kids a goody bag of sweets complete with orange plastic spider rings.   I will keep you posted on our class this year - the kids love getting their picture taken (Especially when I print it out) as most of them don't have recent pictures of themselves.

Speaking the same language, but not really!

In August we ventured out to Dubare in the Coorg region of Karnataka state in India.  This is about a 6 hour drive south and west from Bangalore into the green hills famous for their coffee.    Our Spanish exchange student, Alvaro, was in town and we wanted to show him some wildlife.   India is famous for their safaris and general abundance of animals (not only the cows, goats, chickens you see in town) but the peacocks, tigers and elephants.   We settled on an elephant safari in Dubare and booked out stay at the government run "Jungle Lodge."    
After the normal but bumpy 6 hour trip, we turned down a narrow dirt lane, fresh from the rains, our driver could only think of what a mess the car would be.   We followed the lane to a dead end.  I could see a sign for the Jungle Lodges and thought we would be walking through the foliage with our stuff, my irritation level was increasing...Just then a small motor boat pulled up and it dawned on me that we were crossing a fast flowing river in a boat just larger than a bathtub to the lodge.  

Now I must remind you we are seasoned travellers within India, always prepared with snacks, gin & tonics to go, cards and plenty of insect repellent.  These essentials make sure even the most unexpected accommodations are tolerable.   During the boat ride - I kept thinking, what did I sign myself up for!

We arrived at the Jungle Lodge and to my surprise there were about a dozen brick villas, with a view of the river, equipped with a covered porch and plenty of space to spread out.   We had three villas and began unpacking our spread of chips, Cheetos, soda and drinks.    After heading over to the cafeteria pavilion, again I was pleasantly surprised with the mix of western and south Indian cuisine and the availability of sodas and kingfisher beer.   Alright, this journey was turning the corner.   Our afternoon included a jeep safari that allowed us to see the over 20 elephants roaming in their protected habitat, baby elephants feeding, peacocks scampering across the fields and some squirrels.  Now we have lots of squirrels in the Midwest, but our guide was most excited to show us the variety in India!   Small wonders...

After dinner and playing on some non-standard playground equipment (think tire swings suspended from high trees and large spider nets pulled 10 feet above the ground) we retired to one of the villas for cards and snacks, looking forward to helping wash the elephants in the morning.    About 3 am, Doug and I awoke to a tapping.  I was sure someone was at the window.  Doug sprang up from bed, put on his camping headlight and started to investigate.  Now this is where i really wish i had a camera, to see him in his boxers with the headlamp on was something else!   He told me to go back to sleep it was nothing.  

Hours later we all got up, I noticed a trail of potato chips in the corner of the room and my Tupperware container had tiny chew marks all over it...  I was promptly informed that a rat hat been in the cabin but Doug decided it was better for me not to know.   We checked in with Will who was looking for some sunscreen, sure he left it in our villa.   Searching high and low we found the tube that had about a dozen holes, clearly eaten through the night.   We decided to pack up and head to the river, hoping to enjoy the elephants and then get the heck out of there!   

After a rainy but nice time washing, feeding and then riding the elephants we checked out.   I complained about the rats and the staff kept showing me the bill, insisting that (I thought he was saying the rats) were included.   It took me about 10 minutes to realize he was saying VAT (As in tax!) and not RAT.  It wasn't until I showed the staff the chewed up tube the realized I was complaining about RATS.   Their response, "but Madame you are in jungle."

I am assured next time that won't be a problem, but I won't be coming back!

Move over Indiana Jones...

Our trekking group- 20 of us plus three guides

I am not really an outside girl, as you probably guessed by the title of my blog and my penchant for shopping.   I have really never camped in my life; once I did spend the night in a tent at our local park with all the comforts of our air mattress and 600 thread count sheets.    However, no India experience is complete without a proper trek.   With about a year left, I have made a bucket list for myself and trekking was high on the list.   I also wanted to visit the Dalai Lama's temple in Northern India.   

In late March, a colleague forwarded me the invitation to particpate in the Himanchal Pradesh trek as part of a fundraiser for the Manovikas Charity in  Delhi that provides mentally challenged folks with options and training for employment.   I had to think about it for 2 seconds, promptly signing myself.     I downloaded the pdf detailing the trek and I can't remember much of what it said other than "toilet tents."  My other fear was that I have not been keeping up with exercise, letting client visits, long hours and kingfisher beer get in the way.    Now I had a goal!  


Taking a break up as we went up hill 10 km with a friendly
canine by my side...Priceless!



I pushed myself to get in shape, pack all my belongings for the 6 day trip into one duffel bag and a 20L day pack.   I scrapped my normal myraid of toiletries and went for the basics.  I do admit to applying lip gloss as I trekked up the hill and moisturizer whenever possible but overall I really tried!    

Our journey began with a flight to Delhi, then a 12 hour overnight bus ride from the Delhi terminal to Dharamshala (home of the Dalai Lama) followed by a day of acclimitization and then the 3 day trek.   The 20 of us loaded the bus in Delhi and between a boxed dinner, a quick stop for the bathrooms

Me jumping off the side of a mountain...literally... and
done in flip flops

...we made it through the bumpy roads, noisy passangers and close quarters.



Move over Indiana, here comes Becky in full trekking gear!

Our visit to McLeodganj (small town in the Dharamshala metropolis) the first day was filled with eye candy... Tibetan monks, road side stalls of tourquoise and silver and plenty of hippies that looked like they migrated from Goa to avoid the monsoon.  The thing about India is there is no shortage of color and excellent people watching opportunities.   Sometimes the best moments of the trip were sitting along the path or at a small cafe with chai watching who rounded the next corner.  

The trek itself was hard, I have to admit I thought that the path would be well groomed and ready for me.  But it was like being on the stair climber for four hours straight.   I was a sweaty Becky going full steam ahead.   My competitive side came out and I enjoyed the fast pace - getting me to the top fo the trail ahead of the pack.  When you are walking for hours through the mountains, focused on your breathing...you hear part of yourself that is usually buried under endless emails and phone calls.



Our camp ground in Triund which was a meadow about 10,000
foot elevation facing the western himalaya range

I can't say that the inner Becky revealed anything shocking during my three days of trekking, but I did get to really listen to the people I was with.   Learning more about them then I knew through our working relationship.   I learned my body can take the challenge and there is something freeing about reducing the clutter - either mental or physical - that we tote around with us daily.    And finally, I like to see the sunrise over the Himalayas with a hot cop of cocoa in my hand while the valley is still and my mind is clear.   I didn't even mind the toilet tents and am planning one my trek before I leave India :)

Baghdad Landing

As part of our India adventure we are trying to cover as much of this diverse country as possible.   Growing up in the Midwest I am used to a pretty flat topography which makes Bangalore feel like normal.   All our friends from California or Europe complain about the lack of mountains.   India, Nepal, Tibet and China have some of the tallest peaks around.  We figured it was time to go check them out.    Unfortunately the season for visiting the northern borders of India is relatively short - April through October as the snow and ice gets to heavy... Again, I am a midwest girl, we think nothing of 18 inches of snow overnight, shoveling and then off to work.   We opted for early April, packing the necessary winter accessories to escape the Bangalore heat.

The five of us boarded our plane in Delhi at 5:55 am to head north to Leh-Ladakh in Jammu & Kashmir India.   No breakfast, bleary eyed and cramped on our flight - the kids managed to hold it together until the descent.  Gliding above the infinite plane of snow caps sprawling as far as the eye could see, our descent was slow and steady.   Soon enough the snowcaps were  disappearing and our flight was along the brown mountain sides.   It was spectacular.   I could see the valley ahead but we were still too high to land.  The the excitement started.  The plane started to rumble, bank to the left closely rounding the some lone mountains in the center of the valley...I could see the narrow streets and small air traffic control tower as we passed by...Again medium vibrations and we bank to the right getting lower into the valley.   I could see Nolan's eyes glaze over and the green tint spread across his face.    Stuck in a window seat, bag in the overhead i quickly dug into my pockets looking for tissues, wrappers or anything to manage the pending eruption.   Again we bank to the left, the landing gear drops and the rumblings become progressively more violent.

Nolan loses it.  I will spare you the details but this is when you earn your strips as a Mom.   My other two kids start to heave at the mere sight of their little brother and my husband looked away.  I was ready to throw out his shoes but knowing there would be no options in town - i opted for water and baby wipes hoping he would not inspect my handiwork.   I learned after deplaning this is what you call a Baghdad or spiral landing.  That should have been enough warning for what followed!

having coffee at the Grand Dragon hotel-check out that backdrop!

Off to the hotel which was at 10,000 ft elevation.   A day of rest was planned so we could acclimate to the thinner air.   I climbed in bed with a hat on my head and book in hand to hydrate and rest however a nagging headache got progressively worse.  I checked in with Doug - same headache.  Kids were fine watching the every present Cartoon Network.   It dawned on us around 5pm that we were just suffering from caffeine withdrawal.  Nothing a little Starbucks Via to Go couldn't solve.   New reminder - have 1 cup of coffee no matter the schedule to avoid delusion and hypochondriac notions!   I would like to say that the those were the biggest challenges of the journey but the toilets proved to be the next life lesson for the kids.

As an adult - you have more experience making do with what is present (outhouse, road side, holes in the ground and the like....) as a kid you are still operating under the parental orders of don't touch dirty stuff, wash your hands all the time and don't go down dark or unlit pathways...Well those were exactly the conditions of rural mountain bathrooms.   I tried to be a sport and use what was available so the kids would follow suit but there were just times Emma and Nolan could deal.   I don't have a picture or even have found something as interesting as what we saw in the mountains...picture the scene from Trainspotting - that was our Tibetan kitchen facilities... think back to Slumdog Millionaire and the style where the drop is 30 feet below and finally our favorite, a ceramic basin put in the ground with a rock on top sheltered by burlap wrapped around a stick!

I would say we are all experts at identifying good facilities after enough bad ones found - but in addition to carrying water, tissue and purell make the whole experience tolerable...

Focus on the Journey, Not the Destination

I spent the last few weeks back in my hometown of Detroit, Michigan for Christmas. It was really nice to put up traditional decorations, bake dozens of cupcakes and reconnect with friends and family. Many people will complain that the holidays are taxing and the true meaning is lost in the commercialism. Perhaps that is true and I sometimes find myself a little disappointed after cooking for hours to see my guests eat in 10 minutes and then move on. There is one person who always grounds me, reminding me it’s the journey not the destination. That is my husband Doug. When I get in a funk and feel that I am putting in effort that is unappreciated, he reminds me of the fun we had cooking including the mishaps along the way and the satisfaction we found in the process. The end result can be interpreted many different ways and that’s just life. Either my guests liked my cooking or not, maybe it was too salty or too bland…but a dinner was provided and that was the basic expectation.


Professionally, there are similar frustrations. I may have spent weeks on a particular project, fine tuning the presentation, reviewing it with the stakeholders only to find the discussion never gets past the first slide in the final sign-off. I may have felt like I had so much to say, or why didn’t the leadership want to look through the research? When the discussion resulted in the decision I was hoping for I am able to move on quicker however when it’s back to the drawing board, especially for a miss on my part, I end up in that same funk I had after cooking for the holidays. Lots of work and I didn’t get it right? Or maybe I sort of did, but still more to do. Just like my home life, there is someone to ground me. I turn to colleagues at work to bring me back into focus. Sometimes it’s just a few supportive statements over coffee, maybe they offer to help me review the next version or remind me that I learned along the way which will help me in the future. I find myself reflecting that the process is just as important as the output whether you are in the kitchen or in the office!

A key ingredient to success and having the stamina to sustain the pace in which we work is a support network. It’s easy to get lost in the details, feel buried in your inbox and think you will never get caught up. Most days I am reminded by someone in the office, where to focus and get grounded in my purpose as a boss, as an employee or a team mate. My support network is not just my supervisor, but a long list of folks from different offices and career levels. One of the best things about my company is the people we hire- for all positions. Sometimes it’s a simple smile from a colleague as we pass in the hall, the people in the mail room remembering who I am and what my weekly request is, or my EA knowing when I need a coffee to help me get through my afternoon. Other times it’s the leadership I find from my direct reports, the solutions they bring to the table or the wisdom they share from being in the company for a long time.

I appreciate these bits of help, and maybe they go temporarily unnoticed when I am having a crazy day. I forget to say thank you or really absorb the feedback that I received. However, when I stop to think about where I am, I am grateful for the people around me and I would struggle if not for their efforts and wisdom – whether that is my home family or my work family.

Somebody Pinch Me!

The blogs have slowed down after our first anniversary here in India.  I have to say my better half is much more witty and does such a good job capturing the moment, it gives me a reason to slack off.   If you have not read his blogs, please do check out http://whitemanforlease.blogspot.com/.  I just celebrated a birthday, moved house in India and received a promotion - lots of life events - in which I have had some time to reflect on what a journey coming to India has been.   Earlier I would have told you about the crazy traffic, animals on the streets, non-existant lines and a sense of logic to the chaos that we have learned to operate in.   Now I do not notice the traffic, readily plan to leave at least 1.5 hours in advance to travel a distance of 23km, push my way to the front of all lines, speak loudly at all times and complain to all waitstaff at restaurants.   Those are just the tactics applied for being a foreigner in India.   If I peel the onion back a little more, you would see that I can haggle with the best of them on Commercial Street, I do not pay listed price for anything; I have found my favorite places to get Mexican ingredients for dinner, hair cuts and last minute birthday gifts.   Go on more layer deeper and you would see we are quite at home here in India.   Even on a recent trip to the US (literally 48 hours in Detroit), my house seemed like the Schmitt Museum- full of expensive stuff nobody touches.  I know that is my home and there is comfort in every corner decorated by me.  However, on the flight back from Boston to Bangalore, I knew I was coming home.   My family was carrying on with daily life, my dogs were excited to see me, work was waiting and the social calendar was full for weekends on end .   While it was difficult to adjust to a place so foreign from middle America, I have found a happy spot tucked away in an old coconut grove in Bangalore.   I just have to pinch myself sometimes and ask, am I really in India?  

Who are you?

Another first for me while over in India.  Credit card theft.   I was sitting at home the other night, catching up on email when I received a mail from Debra at American Express "Please Call" was the subject line.  Slightly skeptical, I emailed back "I am out of the country, what is this in regards to?"    An immediate response:

From: Deborah L Del Rosario [mailto:deborah.l.delrosario@aexp.com]


Sent: Thursday, September 29, 2011 9:33 PM

To: Schmitt, Rebecca A.

Subject: Re: American Express Request

Hello and thank you. I see 5 charges in great Britain on September 28th on your Costco card ending in 1019 (Douglas Schmitt is the basic, you are the supplementary account holder) I suspect fraud at these merchants:

Radisson Mayfair

Zara UK

NCP

Burberry Knights

Burdett Road

(Approx. $2,400.00)

If these are not your charges please advise ASAP as I am working with law enforcement in GB. Also, please report that account STOLEN ASAP (even though you most likely possess the card...right?) Sorry to disturb you while away.

Sincerely,

Debbie

(On my blackberry as technologies installing updates)

PANIC set in.  I opened my wallet - my Costco Amex was still tucked safely in it's slot.    I logged on to the website, I could only see the first charge for over $1000 USD at Burberry.  Clearly not mine, although not unlikely I could have racked up that bill.    Doug and I both went through the transactions, nothing irregular for the last few months until September 28th.  When was the card compromised??   Fortunately the people at Amex are on the top of their game, my card was shut off, the charges were flagged as fraudulent and Debbie called back to say they are have the GB Police in pursuit of two individuals who are using my card.   Amex is so good that they have sent a new card to my parents (I'll pick it up in November) and they even called my employer when I did not respond to my first email.    I was pleased to see that my HR rep emailed me asking to call Amex given my overseas assignment they were not sure how to contact me.
 
We are now in Thailand on our holiday and I have seen first hand how my card could have been misused.   Doug and I stopped at the duty free upon landing in Bangkok to pick up requisite Bombay Sapphire Gin and some Kentucky Bourbon for our week.    The cashier rung up our purchases and had us sign the customs slip.   She was very confused as Doug's signature did not match the one of the back of his card.    The back of his credit card said "SEE ID" in printed letters.    At first we panicked that we would not be able to make our purchase, but then I realized - she can't tell the difference!   I guess it would be pretty easy to use a card when the only check is if the signature matches SEE ID.
 

Maintenance

Everything needs maintenance.   Cars, appliances, skin, hair, friendships, marriages etc...require fine tuning occasionally to keep them running smoothly or to repair a minor ding, zit or misunderstanding.    Women generally have a long list of maintenance activities, normally referred to as grooming.   Somehow no matter how busy I seem to be, I manage to have manicured nails and toes, a good mix of highlights and plenty of mascara on.    I have started to think about the other parts of me that need maintenance - some more than others.   Keeping up on my relationships while I am 8,000 miles away from home proves to be challenging as I am normally ready to collapse from my day when it's time for a phone call home.   Blogging helps, posting pictures on facebook is another easy way to be connected.    All these items become "to dos" for me necessary for keeping myself presentable and on acceptable terms to those around me.   I have realized lately that I have neglected the upkeep of myself in a few ways:  exercise and hobbies.   As Doug says, I need to give myself time to re-create with some recreation (what a wise guy).    I am making some goals for year 2 in India and one of them will be at least 15 min a day of something non-work related (which includes home and kids).   A walk with the dog, reading a new book, jumping on the treadmill, sun salutations or meditation seem like manageable ways to re-create.   I will keep you posted and am hoping this puts more time and energy in my day.

Sybil

Many people have a work side and a personal side to them.   Behaviors displayed by their friends and family may not bother them as much as a colleague who does something strange in the office or vice versa.   I have developed an Indian side.   I am pretty such the same at work and at home, and thank you to my family for allowing me to program manage our life, ask for collaboration during long plane flights and keep things BAU (business as usual) when I leave them home alone.    For my colleagues, please find some solace in the fact that my husband gets just as many emails and SMSs as I send to you and he also is required to produce status on any number of open items.  It sounds crazy but it works for us. 

A couple of things have happened over the last 4 months that are proof of my transformation since coming to India.    When shopping at Hyper City (our local version of Super Target or Wal-Mart) on a weekday, we approached the seemingly endless row of checkout stations.  Out of the thirty possible lanes, only one was working and the queue was 10 deep.  To the left of the only working register several employees were chatting avoiding eye contact with any customers.    Doug and Javeed were pushing the cart along the bank of registers aimlessly hoping someone would come to their rescue.   Not me.    I approached the gaggle of employees and in my loudest voice without yelling asked "Why am I waiting, are you on a break? I am a customer, get a register open for me."    All this while typing away on my iPhone.    A minute later, the manager looking person called "Madam Madam" and I was in a checkout line.   Doug and Javeed admitted after the checkout, they both looked at each other wondering who the crazy lady was yelling in the store; they were shocked to see it was me.

Schmitts in Rome at the Pantheon

Fast forward to Rome. I am frequently approached by street vendors in India either while walking or sitting in my car at a traffic stop.    I  have developed a smooth hand flick that let's them know I am not interested.    In Rome we were bombarded with street vendors offering glow in the dark toys, replicas of the Colosseum and fake Gucci bags.   One evening near the Spanish Steps, a persistent vendor kept offering me roses.   I directly told him to go away and gave him the hand flick.    Our friends from Michigan, the Zaks, were traveling with us and they were mortified that I would treat someone that way.    They felt so bad for the vendor they almost bought the rose.    Doug explained that this India Becky.    The rest of the trip I was reminded to be nice as this is Italy and people are not begging but actually working selling things.    It took me about a week to revert back to my regular nice Mid-western self but only about 30 minutes of being back in Bangalore to bring back the attitude.

I think I can give Sybil a run for her money.  Here is the link if the reference is obscure http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sybil_(1976_film)

Snake in a box!

Karnataka's state snake
is a cobra!

My blogging has been slacking as I have been traveling but I am back with some juicy things.    My one year in India is nearly up and we had the task of filing for a employment visa extension this week.    For those of you that have traveled to India or have experienced the Foreign Registration Regional Office (FRRO) first hand- you know the pain.    India loves paper copies of everything and not just one copy but duplicate, triplicate, reminders, passport sized photos in duplicate neatly stacked and stapled - one pack per applicant.   So the two day story begins...

Here is the list of what you need to get the visa extended:

1. Police Verification - make sure we are good standing foreign nationals and that we really do have an accommodation of our own and are not squatters etc...

2. Marriage License

3. Birth certificates for all

4. Bonafide certificates for the kids enrollment - again making sure they are going to school and not causing problems

5. Letter of employment

6. Guarantee if my employment ends, my employer would take care of my exit

7. Tax Return for India

8. Housing Lease and a copy of the ID card of the landlord

9.And the list goes on

Fortunately we have an excellent vendor that helps assemble papers, stand in line and direct you at the various stages.    However we have no control on when the police are available or in the station.   So our day begins, arriving early (10:30 am) hoping the inspector will be able accompany us home and sign our papers.   Our bad luck, after about 30 minutes of waiting in the lobby which consists of one bench barely wide enough for my back end...the "receptionist" tells us the inspectors are all at court.   The kids are happy to leave but Doug and I know that this is just the beginning of a VERY long day.   Our visa processing "handler" translates for us in Kannada (local language) that the inspectors should return by 6pm.   McDonald's fills our disappointment, value meals and soft serve ice creams for all.    

Several hours later our handler calls and says, "can you come now?"   We leave the kids at home, load in the car and set off to the Whitefield police station.   Doug and I are somehow expecting the inspector is waiting for us but our handler waves us off and we wait in the car...it's dusk and warm, windows down mosquitoes in.   Our driver, Javeed, starts to walk around the parking lot which is filling with those coming off their day shift, those coming on, people on smoke breaks and the normal chaos of chai-wallahs (tea sellers) and others with police issues.   Doug was buried in his book, but I could barely sit still.   Each person that pulled up, i would motion to Javeed "is that the inspector?"  No...then the excitement began.  Two cars of agitated Indians pulled up.   Lots of arms waving, each person holding a conversation on their mobile and with the inspector simultaneously.    Javeed was right in the mix, looking like a member of the plaintiffs or crowd control.   Immediately, they all pile back in their cars and the inspector on the back of a 2 wheeler.   Quick translation, property dispute and the inspectors are going to check it out.    Little known to us, Javeed was reminding the inspector that we are foreigners and it's rude to keep us waiting in our car for hours.   Also, we are the same foreigners who were here in November filing a police complaint against our maid for the loss of my jewelry.   Finally 1 hour and 50 minutes later, our handler calls us in the office.  Back on the skinny bench, I have learned to make eye contact if you want service - then you cannot be ignored.    The lead inspector has our file, signing away he eyeballs us over and continues his property dispute dealings.    Like most things, one verification is not enough, we are handed our papers and pushed to the next desk.    I am still waiting for the time we need to go back to our house, but the second inspector says "I know you.  I went to your house."  We nod in agreement.   Two quick signatures and we are on our way home.   I think that is the first time I can say I was happy to have been to the police station once before ...

Day 2 - arriving at 8:30 am at the FRRO.   No queue, our handler has strategically placed himself in front of the crack in the gate to hold our spot.   About 30 other foreigners blob together waiting for the crack in the gate to expand and hoping to position themselves a shoulder ahead to get inside.   Scanning the crowd, I see another American (sneakers, dockers and some sort of REI sports shirt) he has the same sense of bewilderment Doug and I are feeling.    A few Europeans, many students from Africa and several Korean businessmen and their families.   Kids are tired, cranky standing in the muddy street with the street dogs circling with one parent nearby and the other in the blob protecting their spot in whatever line will form inside.   As the gate opens I hold onto the telephone book of papers needed for the visa and assert my best India Becky attitude.   I make it 8th in line.  Practically jumping in the lamp of a plus sized Kenyan woman - Doug is in shock.   I give him the be quiet and hang back look while holding my spot.   And this is just to get a number to be processed.  The real fun starts once you get out of the parking lot come waiting room and into the offices.

After about five verifications that our data was in order and signatures, stamps, we are told one hour.   Do we give up the seats we have managed to secure in the overcrowded processing area for a potty break and get some coffee?  Will it really be an hour?  Will the kids kill each other? Or have we annoyed the rest of the foreigners?  We opt for coffee and a trip to the bank to get the demand draft to pay for the visas.   Back promptly one hour later, paying at one counter, rendering our visas at another we wait.   I have decided to stand behind the only chair at counter 3 eyeing the clerk.   Each time he lifts his head he cannot avoid my glaze and nod of my head as if to say, "anything yet?"   He is a nice guy, repeatedly saying "few minutes madam."   Eventually, it's noon - we have been approved another year.   Now we can get lunch.  Back out the street, our handler checks our papers and we wait by the car for him to get a copy.  

Now just to share, our vehicle has clear windows and as a family of blonds most passersby peer inside.  Additionally we are magnet for street vendors, women with babies and many others attempting to earn a few rupees.   That day a lady and her baby approached the car.   As she motioned to her mouth asking for food, she pushed a basked toward us.  Doug gave her the normal go away had movement, the lid came off the basket and I recognized the word "snake."   Not even 30 seconds later a cobra uncoiled, fanned it's head and flicked it's forked tongue at us.   I freaked, Doug tried to roll up the windows of the parked car and Javeed quickly jumped out to save the day.  I wasn't sure if the snake was to scare us or entertain us, but either way she left without any tip.

Never say never in India.

Choo or Not to Choo...

Completely necessary

for any trendy mom

By the name of my blog, one could assume I like shoes.   You may not know the extent of my addiction, topping over 200 pairs.   Unfortunately I could not bring all my shoes to India as a third of them are built for a much colder climate and the other third top 5" inch heels which would make me taller than 75% of the India population.  So I was conservative, only packing a mere 20 pairs focused on flat sandals, ballet flats, several pairs of reef flip flops. 



must have accessory for
Kim's Wedding!

I am heading west starting on Friday and in addition to seeing my family , friends, sleeping in my own bed and grabbing a chai tea latte at Starbucks; I CANNOT wait to go shopping.    The list is long and filled with mostly food items and things for the kids, but what trip would be complete without having a few unnecessary necessities for me.   You can guess, those would be something frivolous, slightly over the top and certainly designer for my feet!  I have been dream shopping online, as all the spring and early summer sales start.  From Saks, Nordstrom, Net-a-porter and Neimans, it's everything a diva could want.   However reality check for me, those diva days are packed away in my closet in Michigan along with my party dresses, fur coats and leather pants.    My day to day consists of flat sandals, leggings and long kurtas with one of my lovely silk stoles.   I can't say I miss the fancy stuff here in India but old habits die hard.     I have found two favorites, I would love to buy however balancing the rest of my life, I think the guilt would kill me.   So do i Choo or not Choo, that is the question.   In my heart, I know the answer but a girl can dream!  I'll save those pennies for my final return when I restore the shoe queen to her former glory.    Target and DSW Shoes are on the agenda for next week and hopefully will soothe the savage shopper in me.



Final Countdown!

Grosse Pointe, MI home

I have a pit in my stomach, my mind is racing, and I know I will forget to do something.    We are packing our bags today, making lists and checking them twice as we get ready for our first visit back to the US in 10 months.   

Time has flown by, I can hardly remember how I felt the last few days before we left Michigan.     I have a busy week as I try to wrap up loose ends and leave the team for the next three weeks.  Doug is attempting to get the house in India in order so our house sitters, Stephanie & Danielle, can manage the staff, pay some bills, watch our dog and still have fun (safely) while they are in India.  My parents are organizing our house back in Michigan; filling our cupboards, pulling out the patio furniture and collecting the packages I keep sending to them.    It's a strange feeling to live here in India and have a parallel life in Michigan.    Keeping up with friends and family on facebook, skype and over the magicjack.   In India, making new friends at the bus stop, Samrudhi's grocery store or by the pool.   

Each day has gotten easier in India as we get used to being away from home, find ourselves making the house here a home and creating regular moments.    As much as I would like to think of our visit home as a vacation it's as much of regular life as we had before we left.  Doctors appointments, William getting his braces off, running to targets or Costco and planting flowers in the yard.    However, these regular moments have a new meaning this time around as I now know how special each one is.   There is an old saying, you don't know what you have until you lose it...and that is certainly something I have come to appreciate ever day here in India.   Freedom to drive my own car when I want, ability to visit my parents with just a 30 min drive or know I can always get prego spaghetti sauce at the grocery store every time I go.    

And even as I am typing this, I know I will miss things about India.   Life is quieter here, more family time, simple things really do put a smile on your face and you can live with a lot less.    A trip to McDonald's, figuring out how to cook Mexican food, a game of hearts and a trip to the pool bring us all together in a good old fashioned kind of way.  We only have each other and it's made this all the hard stuff much more manageable.    Three weeks in the US will go by quickly and I am sure year 2 in India will as well.

My Eat, Love, Pray Moment....

Back in February Doug and I visited an Ashram for a 48 detox.   We actually had won a stay from a charity silent auction back in November.   Our Ashram was as commercial as an ashram can get because it's part of a chain - Ayuravedagram (http://www.ayurvedagram.com/).    Before I take you inside the visit, here are a couple of terms that might help you understand the experience:

Ayurveda - ancient practice of medicine that originated in Kerala, India (southwest coast, see my blog on All that with a broken foot)  The traditional Hindu system of medicine, which uses diet, herbal treatment, and yogic breathing.
Ashram - A hermitage, monastic community, or other place of religious retreat for Hindus or a place of religious retreat or community life modeled on the Indian ashram.

  Doug and I arrived on a Friday evening just after work and in time for dinner.  We entered the reception area which was a magnificent Keralan house with amazing antiques and incense burning.    Our first plan of action was to set our appointment with a doctor for the next morning and our schedule would flow around that.    We made our way to our room even though it was dark and raining via unlit brick paths.   The room was basic, low beds, wool blankets however the bathroom had a very nice concrete modern shower.    A small flat screen was positioned about shoulder height in front of the bed.   I was 1) happy it was clean 2) glad there was a TV 3) liked that we had a nice porch to sit on.    Doug was not happy we had two twin beds that were as soft as crushed concrete....Thankfully he brought his own contraband with us - gin, tonic and glasses.   Yes the Ashram is alcohol and smoke free- but we are rule breakers.    

After we settled, we walked to the restaurant that served Vegetarian only meals buffet style.   After nearly 10 months in India, I am quite used to this and have figured out my favorites and what to avoid.  Our meal started with hot cumin water.  A little strange but oddly satisfying.   We munched on our meals and watched the other guests pour in.    Older couples, some singles from Germany, a few Indian women and several expat couples like ourselves.     This would be interesting.

Our next day began at 630 am with Coffee service to our room, I was thankful this vice was allowed.    We enjoyed our filtered coffee and then proceeded to the 730 am Yoga course which was in the hall adjacent to our room.    I have been an avid yogi for about 8 years but mostly practicing Bikram.    It's always different when you go to a new place- the teacher, the flow of the asanas and the general facilities greatly impact your ability to focus and enjoy.  This was Doug's first ever yoga course!  We purposely did not sit next to each other as to minimize my competitive spirit.  I think he liked it and he was definitely surprised how sweaty you can get.     We enjoyed a vegetarian breakfast and then headed over to doctors appointment.   After a quick questionnaire, he determined that my body type (Dosha) if Pitta-Vatta and Doug's is Pitta-Kapha.  Now you can go very deep into the science of this analysis, where you alter all the food you eat, the rhythms of your day and exercise to suit your body type.  The belief is that if you match your intake of food to your dosha you will achieve a healthy weight and minimize illnesses.     Our prescription was a hot oil massage and steam bath.  Sounded good.

We headed over to the treatment center only to be stripped down (separately of course!) and made to put on this paper undergarment that was reminiscent of a sumo wrestlers uniform.   Up on the massage table (face up) were one liter of hot oil was poured very slowly over our bodies.  Still not terrible, but then the double massage which was akin to to an aggressive beat down took place for the next 30 min.   Given the amount of oil I was sliding all over the table, praying this would be over soon.   As abruptly as the massage started, it ended and I was put into a steam box.   It reminded me of old cartoons where villains were put into a box in the town square with only their head exposed.  Yes that was me, however the temperature in the box was well over 100 degrees F.   After 10 min, I was ready to expire and was pushed into the shower.   Washing the oil off and getting dressed was the most enjoyable part of the experience.    Doug and I compared notes and found the "treatment" to be identical and unfortunately identically painful.    The rest of our day was followed by a Veg lunch, a long nap, yoga, veg dinner and then a repeat of the same the next day.    We could have stayed until 5pm on the second day but after a double yoga course, second torturous massage and steam bath; we busted out right after lunch.     Back home to Palm Meadows and we cracked open a beer and potato chips, feeling we needed a reward for being so good.

For all of you who feel inspired to go to an ashram and detox; I challenge you to take stock of what it means to render control of your schedule, food and daily routine....I am not sure i will ever do it again! 

Taj Magic

Visiting the Taj Mahal, Agra at Sunrise

Emma holding up the Taj

check out the reflection in his shades

Our room at the Oberoi Hotel
view of the Taj Mahal

The Oberoi, all rooms face the Taj

In March we journeyed to Agra, about 5 hour drive south of Delhi to see the Taj Mahal.   The Taj is a monument of love.   It was built for a wife who died in childbirth.    While the monument is widely recognized as a symbol of India for those of us outside of India, seeing it in person is an out of this world experience.    We sprung for the fancy smancy hotel, the Oberoi Agra.   I won't tell you the price for two rooms for one night but I think we have rented a beach house for a week in Florida for the same price!  However, you only go around once so we decided to do it up right.  We were there on March 20th which also happened to be Nolan's ninth birthday.   The hotel was very accommodating, bringing us a chocolate cake at dinner.   I am not sure he will remember this as his most fabulous birthday but I certainly will!     We arranged for a private guide via our hotel and decided to go at 730 am for a sunrise view of the Taj.   The marble has a translucent look that gives you a feeling that the Taj is breathing.     While Doug and I were visibly moved to be near such a remarkable man made monument, the kids were ready to go after about 10 minutes.  Fortunately our guide was very creative and had us pose for fun shots - holding up the dome, catching the reflection of the Taj in Doug's glasses.    It's a journey that I am glad we made even if it seems touristy.    Until you see the Taj in person, you cannot visualize it's grandeur and tribute to love. 

I'm Padi Certified!

At the Dive Shop - Euro Divers on
 Kandooma Island, Maldives

If you have read my earlier blogs, I committed to learning to scuba dive based on the words from my husband "what will we do when our kids grow up."   The classroom session was easy to pass and being competitive, I was driven to have a high score.   The pool test was a bit more traumatic for me, feeling claustrophobic I freaked out about five times in the first ten minutes.   However, I passed and actually figured out I liked the scuba.     Fast forward 6 weeks and we have landed in the Maldives to complete our open water certification.   The first dive was in a closed off lagoon area where we would demonstrate everything we learned in the pool.   Walking across the beach to the dive dock I was feeling queasy.  I started to sweat, shake and panic that now I would have to remove my mask in the ocean and real fish would be near me.    Doug was very understanding and told me I could skip.  It would save us money and I should only do something I wanted to do.   Mentally I tried to pull it together and the alternative of sitting on the beach with a beer seemed like much more fun.    However I rallied, if i failed the test in the ocean it would be a sign but I would never know until I tried.   To my surprise, I LOVED it.   I was able to take my mask off, clear the water, hover, remove my tank and BCD under water with no problems.   After our test dive we signed up for the following morning to complete our first open water dive.   It was amazing, we went 12m deep (36 feet) the first trip saw amazing huge fish and I felt very peaceful swimming along the reef.    We completed a total of four open water dives and now can go 18m deep.  Will, Doug and I now want to complete our advanced certification - taking night dives, learning to use different types of tanks and exploring more places in Southeast Asia.    The best thing about the scuba for me was how clear your mind becomes when you just focus on breathing and seeing sights you never imagined you could get close too.    I have had several moments since we have been back in the last two weeks where I just wish we were diving and being 18m under is a nice place to be.

Will & Becky suited up for our dive

Doug is ready to jump in

Warming up after our dive

The Easter Bunny Found us

Easter Morning at the Leela Palace

Easter bunny - Indian Style

Doug and Becky in Leela Garden

Brunch with unlimited Champagne!

Having a family in India means trying to keep things regular, be in a routine, and remember to celebrate the important things.   Easter is a big holiday for our family.  While it has tremendous importance to our faith, it's usually a time we gather with our extended family and eat.    This was not our first Easter away from family, we have taken holidays in the past given the kids usual school break.   For our first Easter in India, William was on a trek to the Himalayas so we planned mass at St. Patrick's and then brunch at the amazing Leela Palace hotel.   If you come to India, you must stay there but if that proves to be too expensive, at least brunch is a must.    Our youngest, Nolan, is 9 years old and very much looks forward to his annual Easter basket.    We break all the rules with Easter and Halloween, allowing our kids to stuff their faces without any parental regulation on intake for the first 24 hours.   Finding the standard Easter Candy in the India was proving to be a problem; thank goodness for Grandma.   A large box stuffed with jelly bellies, peeps, smarties, gummy bears, licorice, starburst, pastel colored m&ms, cadbury eggs and whoppers colored like Easter eggs.    We hid that box and used it for our visit from the Easter bunny.    We even colored our eggs with crayola markers and hid them all over the house.   I would not advise this as the markers leaked through the shells and our hard boiled eggs were tattooed.  Not sure we could eat that, we scrapped the eggs and went right for the candy.    The true highlight of the day was brunch, unlimited champagne for me and a 3m long sweets table that included a chocolate fountain.   The kids were in heaven.   Life is pretty good and Easter Brunch was the icing on the cake!

All that with a broken foot!

Cochin Harbor, fishing boats coming in

Emma- our Lady Gaga

Nolan & Becky washing elephants

Chinese Fishing nets

Ice Cream break

Spice shopping on Jew Street

Antique shopping - crazy stuff behind us

I am a little behind on my blog entries, mostly because I have not figured out how to get the pictures uploaded to shutterfly back to my blog!   Back in February we took a short weekend trip to Cochin, Kerala on the Southwestern coast of India.    Cochin is one of the oldest ports in India with St. Thomas the apostle arriving there and starting the Syrian rite of Catholicism there nearly 2000 years ago.    But more recently the Portuguese, Dutch and English taking up shop there as a key spot on the trade routes.   Shopping expedia.com or more conveniently expedia.co.in I found a tremendous deal for two rooms at a Taj Gateway property (very nice hotel chain in India) and flights.    This was our first weekend trip.    When we decided to come to India we had planned to be travel junkies, exploring one corner of India to all the nearby exotic countries.   However, we live in India which means I have a job, the kids have homework, we need to fit in dentist appointments, shopping for sneakers and figuring out how to get regular things done.  Unfortunately that takes time so squeezing in a weekend trip is not as easy as we expected.    We pulled the kids out of school hopped on the hour flight to Cochin and armed with our Lonely Planet South India book, started our journey.   

This was our families first domestic trip which meant figuring out the taxi situation in a new city, navigating a new town and being in a much less cosmopolitan area than Bangalore.    Oh and I forgot to mention, Emma broke her foot horseback riding a few days earlier, so her range of activity was somewhat limited.   She was a trouper.    A walking cast in India is not really meant for dragging on the cement, so we customized a walking shoe out of one of Doug's sandals.   Not a fashion statement but did the job.    I highly recommend the Lonely Planet series for India, each restaurant they recommended in Cochin or surrounding towns was definitely worth it.    We feasted on ocean fish marinated and grilled in banana leaves, a Chinese-Indian fried rice, prawn curry and kingfisher beers.    Since Cochin has long been a desired port and had several ruling cultures - the food is a nice fusion of western and Indian.     

Things we learned on the trip:
- Our family of 5 can fit nicely in an auto-rickshaw.   Becky-Doug-Will with Nolan on my lap and Emma on Doug's lap.  Best use of 30 cents to go three kilometers ever
- The local fisherman still use Chinese fishing nets that have been the same technology since the time of Kubla Khan
- Elephants love to bathe in the local rivers and we were lucky enough to see their morning ritual.  Nolan and I even made into the river to help clean them with coconut shells
- Having two hotel rooms that do not connect make for a much nicer vacation
- Vasco da Gama was buried on Fort Cochin, we visited his grave site
- The oldest synagogue in India is in Fort Cochin and sits on a street called Jew Street, also a wonderful place to get antiques
- You can take a ferry from the mainland out to Fort Cochin for 2 rupees a person (4 cents) but there are not enough life jackets on the ferry for the hordes of people they stuff in the boat
- Emma still remains the most photographed in our family, whether she poses with families, other kids or on occasion single men request a photo with her (which of course I decline), she is our Lady Gaga

All in all, traveling within India as a family taught us that we do really like each other, teenagers can be very helpful to carry the luggage and we cannot wait for the next adventure.

West Coast Girls are Unforgettable

Mehendi magic!

Katy Perry and Snoop Dog called it right in their song from last summer - California Gurls; west coast girls are very fun.   This past week we had a convergence of people in Bangalore and it was the first time in nearly a year that I got to see my colleague Mary (from San Fran).     I have to say Mary was up on my blogs as she arrived with a generous stack of magazines - Redbook, Cosmo, InStyle, Yoga Journal....it must have been 5Kg worth of literary candy.     Additionally a mini pillow case of Easter Candy for the kids and some wine make for the perfect Friday night chez moi in Bangalore.   But on to more important events of day 1 in Bangalore.   Mary and a few other ladies needed authentic Indian attire for a formal dinner at the Leela Hotel.     For most of us, this is an exciting opportunity - bust out wear a sari, bangles, mehendi and bling it up.    

I won't go into Mary's shopping experience but I will share with you mine recently and you can note - I've asked around, it's pretty universal.     Getting a Sari is an exciting adventure for anyone; stacks of silks, chiffons, embellished trims and uniquely embroidered choices overwhelm you.   Any store is happy to see me walk in because in general, I am not sure of what sari is appropriate for what which makes selling me anything pretty easy.    No need to change your clothes, the sales attendant (most often a man) will wrap you up and secure the 9 feet of fabric with a mock belt.   Spin around to the nearest mirror and you are transformed.    I now have two saris and one lengha (which i thought was a sari and now have been told it's really for weddings only).  The blouse piece (mid-drift baring top) is usually custom made to fit you like a second skin from an extra piece of fabric attached at the end of your sari.   I have recently found a shop that sells ready made blouses - which makes me happy since I went to a men's tailor the first time and ended up with a CRAZY tight blouse.   I guess we know who that tailor was designing for!     Where things get complicated is when you are shopping for a salwar kameez - more of a dress style top (often to the knees) with leggin' pants.   Being slightly oversized for the south Indian population, I have a tough time getting the dress even over my head.    If I can find a top with a zip, then I conquer the first hurdle often to find my shoulders are cricket player sized and my arms don't move.   If you are not prepared for your normal size in the US to translate to an XXL+ here in India, this can be quite humiliating. 

Two California Girls Looking
Super Fab in Saris!!!

The best advice I received was to go with the flow.  You can always try shopping at the stores in large hotels who often cater to foreigners; you can find a trusty size medium that fits as you expect.   Oh and if your feet are 9.5 or larger (US sizes) you might save your self frustration in the shoe shopping area too...i recently bought some lovely sandals only to find out they are actually considered a size 12 here!   But if you can embrace a new experience, not be hung up on sizes or who joins you in the fitting room to wiggle that kurta or salwar kameez over your head - you might just find a winner that will get lots of oohs and aaahs back in the States.